Even though your teen is on the way to adulthood, you still want to know they’re making good choices about who they hang out with and, even more so, the people they date. Tread carefully – we can’t make these choices for them and if they feel judged or controlled they will just keep us …
By Genevieve Simperingham, Positive Parenting Coach.First published in The Natural Parent Magazine (New Zealand and Australia) “Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.” ~ Gandhi When requests, limits and boundaries are asserted by a parent or teacher with the threat of enforced …
Cyberbullying has been in the news a lot recently, and new legislation coming through will finally give the legal system the means to act. Any digital communication that causes harm or offense will be liable for legal action. Most New Zealand kids have access to the internet every day, often through schools and mobile devices. …
Five tips to help your child survive cyberbullying Read More »
“I feel abandoned!” a woman says to her partner. I watch her partner as he stiffens slightly and a wash of hurt comes over his face. I had encouraged the woman to express her feelings. Her face and body expressed feelings of pain and frustration, but her words expressed an evaluation of her partner (you …
While there is lots of value in limitiing the number of times you say “No”, there are always times when you need. The way you say “No” makes a big difference to the atmosphere and level of cooperation in your home. “Yes you can, as soon as you’ve tidied up”, or “Sure, straight after dinner” …
Doing discipline well is a common parenting challenge, and it’s not surprising when you consider that every child, and every situation, are so different. Ideally we want the result of discipline to be: a lesson learned, or at least some steps in the right direction everyone still feels good about themselves, and each other, after …
By the time your teenager is ready to leave home, you’ll want to know that they’re a confident budgeter and good with money. Rather than paying for all their small purchases individually, try providing an allowance for the week or month which they must use to cover their own expenses. There’s no better way for them …
Making effective requests of others or ourselves requires clarity and a connection to the feelings and needs that are alive in you and the specific context in which they arose. Brainstorming requests also requires a sense of flexibility or openness to a variety of ways in which your needs could be met. I notice that …
Some children can easily recognise and relate to the feelings of others. For some, this can be really challenging. Even if it’s not a natural strength for your child, there is a lot you can do to coach this skill. Weave into your conversations opportunities to reflect on your child’s and other people’s feelings, including …
When someone is sharing something with you, it’s easy to get caught up in ideas of how you are supposed to listen and respond. For example, if your partner is sharing about a problem at work, you might think to yourself: “Oh, I need to figure this out so I can solve the problem.” Or “I …