parenting

Wardrobe wars

Whether it’s clothes, electronics, make-up or music, teenagers can be extremely territorial about their stuff, leading to spectacular bust-ups over who raided whose wardrobe or didn’t return something that they borrowed, and didn’t even have permission to borrow in the first place. As the parent you can: mediate endlessly,   lose your patience, or encourage …

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Take the ‘fight’ out of your voice

It’s easy to get into conflict with our kids. They ignore us, we raise our voices, they fight back etc. We, the big people, need to be strong, loving, flexible and available. And that might mean we need to take responsibility for our own frustrations, irritations or impatience rather than projecting it onto our kids …

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Grunts and Eye Rolls, Finding a Better Way to Communicate

Sometimes it can be very frustrating communicating with an adolescent. The old saying “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” is particularly relevant when dealing with adolescents. Not only are they undergoing huge personal physical, social, psychological and emotional change, but communication patterns are also undergoing a transformation. This is NOT the …

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Dealing with a Teen that Self Harms

“Self-harming” is when people cause themselves physical pain in the hope that it will alter their mood state. This is not the same as “wanting to die” and most who self-harm are not suicidal.  Some people harm themselves because they feel disconnected and isolated from everybody, and hurting themselves is the only way they feel …

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Feeding your worries

Two identical plants, grown in conditions that are otherwise equal, will wither or flourish depending on how much they are watered. Worries can be much the same. If your child tends to dwell on thoughts like “What if we get lost?”, or “I won’t know the right answer when the teacher asks and I’ll be …

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