We tell our children from the day they’re born; ‘You’re special’, ‘You matter’, ‘You are so significant to me.’ Our words are important, but on their own they’re not enough to make our kids feel it and believe it. As they get older, our teens also need to know how and why they matter. Connections …
In many ways I experience parenting as “a long letting go”… as my child grows older, I find mysel ever so slowly having to let go more and more of making decisions for her, being in charge of her where-abouts, and filtering what she is exposed to. As children get older they move into more …
Whether it’s clothes, electronics, make-up or music, teenagers can be extremely territorial about their stuff, leading to spectacular bust-ups over who raided whose wardrobe or didn’t return something that they borrowed, and didn’t even have permission to borrow in the first place. As the parent you can: mediate endlessly, lose your patience, or encourage …
Much of what we are required to do in life – including a huge amount of what children are required to do – cannot be described as “enjoyable” or “exciting”. Study, chores, being quiet, not picking your nose or not picking on your sister – where’s the fun in those? To do these behaviours requires …
It’s a simple equation: Discipline = Consequences – Anger. But it’s nowhere near as simple to execute in real life. When children push our buttons and our boundaries, anger and frustration can be very difficult for a parent to suppress. Some words of truth to remind oneself of at such times, which can help …
It’s easy to get into conflict with our kids. They ignore us, we raise our voices, they fight back etc. We, the big people, need to be strong, loving, flexible and available. And that might mean we need to take responsibility for our own frustrations, irritations or impatience rather than projecting it onto our kids …
Sometimes it can be very frustrating communicating with an adolescent. The old saying “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” is particularly relevant when dealing with adolescents. Not only are they undergoing huge personal physical, social, psychological and emotional change, but communication patterns are also undergoing a transformation. This is NOT the …
Grunts and Eye Rolls, Finding a Better Way to Communicate Read More »
Children and ‘self-esteem’ is heard regularly in the media, however “self-efficacy” is the term used in psychology and refers to a person’s belief in his/her own competence. It has nothing to do with being boastful or proud, but rather having a healthy view of one’s own characteristics or abilities and what one can offer the …
“Self-harming” is when people cause themselves physical pain in the hope that it will alter their mood state. This is not the same as “wanting to die” and most who self-harm are not suicidal. Some people harm themselves because they feel disconnected and isolated from everybody, and hurting themselves is the only way they feel …
Two identical plants, grown in conditions that are otherwise equal, will wither or flourish depending on how much they are watered. Worries can be much the same. If your child tends to dwell on thoughts like “What if we get lost?”, or “I won’t know the right answer when the teacher asks and I’ll be …